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they are so like us

It is true. I was about 6 so my brother and sister where 2 and 4. My mom was taking us all to the park in the station wagon. When we got to the park I was waiting for my mom to get my siblings out of the car seats and come around and open up the way back for me. All of a sudden my sister screamed. I turned around to see a monkey on the windshield of the car. Well, my sister is a pretty good screamer and she kept screaming and scared the monkey away. I remember that when the monkey first jumped on the windshield, I thought it was a dog. My mom got back in the car, and said we couldn't go to the park. I didn't understand why we couldn't play at the park with the monkey but now I do. Thanks Susie!

*****

You're one funny lady!

I always wanted a monkey when I was a tiny tot (screw ponies) and my older brothers said I could find one if I looked really hard in the trees outside my grandmother's house in Cudahy, WI. Being 5 years old and stupid, I would stare at those trees incessantly. You can imagine the ending to this story...I guess I was just in the wrong city.

I realize comments should be about you, not me. I'm so selfish. Back to the task at hand: this piece was hilarious . Let her tell us more NPR!

Good job telling that story. It made me laugh. Good job.

Aspiring to turn all of America into geeks, one person at a time. Click here to hear how.

once a monkey stole all the food that we brought to a picnic. and he laughed at us and said: stupid humans.

it's why one of my front teeth is fake. My Grannie scared me by shrieking: a horsefly, Katrina, it's on your leg! So I ran as fast as my chubby little legs could pump and fell flat on my face / two front teeth. I think it also bit me in the thigh, just like your uncle's monkey.

I love your story! My favorite part is imagining the monkey scaling the mail lady's truck, kind of like DeNiro in Cape Fear / Sideshow Bob in Simpsons.

Well written, well told - you deservse to win this - perfect npr material - good luck!

Worth it if only for the dead-pan phrase: "Returned the remaining monkey for burial!" What a hoot! Nicely done and with a great voice.

maybe the monkey had some sort of vendetta against people with odd vehicles.

awesome story, well narrated, too!

Oh, how I love to laugh! And, you just gave me a really, really good one. This is a really funny story, and I enjoyed your delivery. Great job with this. It is now one of my favorites. Thanks.

elizabeth
news director
morning host/producer
kisu 91.1 fm pocatello, idaho

My baby loves the monkey story! When this story get made into a t.v. movie, preferably on the sci-fi network, can Ol have a cameo?

It was really great to hear your voice again... I miss you. Your story was awesome and funny and all around... Susie-like, which is definitely a good thing. Best of luck to you and this whole public radio thing you got going on.

~Kira

way to rock yourself, susie! i always thought your singular sense of humor came across beautifully in those streak audio intros. this piece is really well-written, no unnecessary bits at all, and totally engaging. my resolution to listen to more npr would be fulfilled much more easily if you were on the air. woo!

i could hear this story again and dozens more. you have a real knack my friend. please tell the story of the cheddar brauts and fishing next. thanks.

Funny story! Well told, good articulation, good writing. I hope you make it---you certainly can do it!

I think your story is hilarious! You have excellent writing skills, too.

Who is this witty, cosmopolitan and attractive Susie Seidelman, and why do I so badly want to hear her on my local public radio station?

Oh, yes, she's the person who I make tell me this monkey story EVERY TIME I SEE HER. This should tell public radio station directors two things: one, that Susie is a font of stories of rampaging monkeys and other such entertaining first-person accounts; and two, that people want to hear these stories over and over again, which spells "cha-ching" for NPR cds and tours a la Sedaris and Vowell.

And, for the sake of posterity, no story that contains the phrase "the wolf ate the other monkey" should go without being heard by the larger NPR community. That, my left-leaning radio-listening friends, would be a tragedy.

along with the audio submission, i also had to answer a few questions about myself, my public radio inclinations and why i should be on the radio. one of the questions was "what would people be surprised to learn about you?" a few people have read my answer, and some wanted me to post it.

***

Recently, I have been responding to my cat with threats of euthanization.

I love my cat dearly. I love all cats. I am a “cat person”. But Sassy is driving me insane.

My girlfriend, Laura, whom I also live with, has been gone a lot lately. She works for a non-profit river organization, and spring is conference time. Sassy is a creature of routine. Having half of her friends missing is understandably quite upsetting. The problem is that she never shuts up about it. Not only that, but her vocal quality is such that no matter what she’s saying, she sounds distressed, worried, panicked. On top of this, she’s 18 pounds. So basically, it’s like being followed around the house by a small dog that is totally freaking out and has taken to fits of barfing next to your bed at 4:30 in the morning to prove it.

I’m not actually going to do it, but I also want her to know that it’s not entirely outside the realm of possibility.

***

sincerely, though. i'm not actually going to do it. when this small sun i've been orbiting eventually passes, you'll probably find me weeping on my floor while pouring over the five thousand pictures i've taken of her, re-enacting the ones we're in together. or something equally disgusting.

and a confident engaging voice. Excellent writing too.

-Will, http://www.publicradioquest.com/audio/user/5723

“Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.” - Arundhati Roy

I also want to know how that monkey learned to undo pants! HILARIOUS.

How did the monkey learn to undo pants and why?!? Well told story!

Child, you are hilarious! You have the kind of voice that I want to keep listening to - it pulled me in to the story. I was sad when it was over! Aunt Rose is going to split when she hears it. I was dying laughing. Your dad would be so proud.

interesting story and very easy to follow; you have a very soothing voice; good luck and keep up the good work!

FUN story...and well done! By the way,how's the Uncle?

awesome story. aah, bong recreational area. haven't driven past that in ages.
YOU ARE GREAT! you're made for radio. nice work.

great story, easy to follow, funny. i like you!

you have so many great, and seemingly unreal stories. and you have a comforting voice. i think your voice and your stories go hand-in-hand; one would not be complete without the other.
good luck! you deserve the gold!

I like stories like this because they are too good to make up. Love it!