Worse Case Scenario?

But maybe it'll be a bit more interesting from a medical professional's perspective (and provide a good cocktail party story about the idiocy of patients).

I'm generally reluctant to go to the doctor, because it makes me feel like a wuss, and I feel like I'm wasting the valuable time of doctors and nurses if I trouble them with anything that isn't incapacitating me.

But one summer I got a spider bite that wouldn't heal. In fact, it just kept getting worse, so I finally bit the bullet and went in to see a Nurse Practitioner, feeling like a total wimpy jackass for bothering her.

When I showed her the bite, she leapt back in alarm, totally horrified. Evidently it is unusual for spider bites to reach 10 inches in diameter, an inch raised, rock hard, and scaldingly hot to the touch. (it was covering over half of the side of my thigh and wrapping around to the front and back). She didn't even want to touch it. As unprofessional as this reaction may seem, it actually made me feel reassured that my visit wasn't totally unjustified.

Two less funny examples:
- I went to a doctor who bombarded me with statistics such as "Women who have more than 3 alcoholic beverages per week are 70% more likely to have breast cancer" (So... does EVERONE in Europe have breast cancer?) and, chiding me for not having been to the dentist in 2 years, she said, "People who visit the dentist every six months have an average life span 10 years longer than those that don't." When I pointed out that there was an obvious statistical correlation between those that have regular dental checkups and those that have regular MEDICAL checkups, she just stared at me with a blank expression. Like she really believed that tooth decay was killing off millions of Americans in their prime. I switched doctors 5 minutes after the visit was over, but I truly believe that my reluctance to go to the doctor is at least partially attributable to the idiocy of this woman.
- My friend, who is quite obviously gay and naturally thin went in for a checkup. Throughout the visit, the doctor kept insinuating that he had AIDS, refusing to believe his assurances that he'd been recently tested and was HIV-negative. Basically, because my friend was thin and gay, the doctor refused to give him an objective evaluation of his medical state. That happened 10 years ago, and it still boils my blood.

30 years ago, I sat in a clinic waiting for a pre-employment physical. I noticed a sign on the wall. In two languages, it said: Warning! It is unsafe and unsanitary to save and reuse soiled toilet paper. What??? Who would do such a thing? I can't imagine. Ugh! Wait a minute! There must be enough of them to need to put up a sign. And some of them are here! I spent the rest of my wait suspiciously eyeing every person in the room. Is it you? Hey! Did you read that sign? I had a serious case of "input dilemma"- where the information comes in, but your brain refuses to process it. That dilemma has never quite gone away.
Jim Barfuss
http://www.publicradioquest.com/user/2824

“Life is full of surprises. When I looked toward the future in my youth, I did not see myself standing here.” Seymour B. Moore