Bad Ideas
We've all got our super-secret, billion dollar, get rich quick ideas that we're hoping to bring to fruition someday. I've got a few that have been simmering for years, and every once in a while I just can't contain myself, and I'll confide in a friend under strict don't-tell-anyone orders. Now, I can't go around posting top-secret yet-unpatented brilliant ideas in a public forum like this one, but it certainly wouldn't hurt to let out some of the not-so-hot ones I wisely back-burnered along the way. Ingenious ideas are fascinating, but the ill-conceived ones are often more entertaining. I imagine that some of y'all have some great ones. I wanna hear about 'em.
For starters, here's a few of my duds:
Traffic Psychic: I thought I'd mount a crystal ball on my dash, get decked out like a some fairground fortune-teller, print a 900 number in bold font on my car, then head every day at rush hour into the worst traffic areas. I figured that all those people around me -- gridlocked and bored out of their minds -- would definitely want to ring me up for pay-per-minute mystical answers on how to disentangle themselves from bad traffic (or at least for advice on how to graciously accept and embrace traffic jams). Soon enough I learned that cell phones can't access 900 numbers, and decided that hanging out in traffic dressed like Madam Cleo probably wouldn't help my public image.
Pimp My Stroller: I actually pitched this to some friends who work in TV..and was laughed out of the room. So the idea is simple, moms bring their old baby-stroller into an auto shop and let the mechanics trick it out. A booming sub-woofer underneath (for pumping that Barney the Dinosaur song at the playground), a refrigerated bottle compartment, dangling mobiles made of sparkling hood ornaments, independently spinning rims, etc. Okay, sensitive baby-ears might not appreciate a high-decibel stereo system, and moms might not appreciate having to push around a 250 lb stroller...but it would make for decent TV programming, right?. Well, at least no worse than the other nonsense that comes out of the idiot box.
delicious
diggEvery photographer knows that that one perfect shot can make a career. Most will take some risks in order to get that shot. Here are some bad ideas for the perfect photo:
1. No matter how golden the light on the tower, no matter how the blue the sky, or how billowing the cumulus clouds behind; no matter that an eagle is soaring overhead, it is a bad idea to take a picture of a nuclear power plant.
2. It is a bad idea to be looking through the viewfinder at the cables and towers while driving across a five mile long suspension bridge 200 feet above the Straits of Mackinac. I've survived this trick twice. I'm going to try again today. Hope you don't see me on the news!
This wasn't my bad idea, but I got to witness it up-close. I was the audio director at big ad agency whose clients included Coffee Mate (Carnation). The Coffee Mate client came up with the dreadful idea that the agency should create a spot that sold Coffee Mate NOT on the premise of convenience - but on the premise that it TASTES better than real cream.
Of course, no sane person anywhere believes this to be true. But the client insisted - AND - the client also insisted that the trial commercial had to pass field testing with flying colors.
I saw the poor copyrighter go through creating spot after spot after spot, all of which failed because of this absurd premise. Finally - after creating EIGHTY-TWO test spots - the battered copyrighter was able to invent a flavor-based spot that passed field testing.
Try to imagine how he felt after spot #38 ... or spot #54 ... or #78 ...
Rich Meitin
www.richmeitin.com
http://www.publicradioquest.com/node/1038
With constantly rising healthcare costs and an eye to encouraging personal responsibility for one's well-being, I thought I would cash in with doctorless do-it-yourself medical care, up to and including a few stitches. The name: Suture Self. AMA and FDA said no way.
Funny, just today I was thinking what a bad idea an inflatable dartboard would be. Then I Googled "inflatable dartboard" and discovered how utterly unoriginal I am.
This one even comes complete with a patch kit: http://www.paramountzone.com/inflatdb.html
Jennifer, I suppose there really ISN'T anything new under the sun!
Rich Meitin
www.richmeitin.com
http://www.publicradioquest.com/node/1038
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